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Saturday, February 14th, 2004

Subject:The hour draws near
Time:2:47 pm.
The preparation for the meal seems so slow! I have had to bite my tongue many times to keep from saying harsh things to the servants in order to make them move more quickly – I walk through the kitchens anxiously, herding them like a sheepdog. They are used to my moods and shrug it off; fortunately, they cannot see how frightened I really am. Where is my brother? I cannot do this without his aid...
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Friday, November 21st, 2003

Subject:The hour draws nearer
Time:5:09 pm.
As the sun rises higher in the sky, the vial grows heavier. It is hidden safely in the folds of my dress, but I cannot help but think that every time I walk through the halls, it falls under the eye of each guard. I wonder – did they know what I am to do, how many of them would be for it? Surely many; the Worm’s rule must be as repugnant to all honest, upright, and strong men as it is to my brother.

It is now only a few hours until noon, and I have spoken with those in the kitchen about the meal. It will come in three courses, and I have given the servants orders to prepare great chalices of mead for all the male guests at the table, which I told them I will serve myself as an honor to all who sit, in gratitude for their help in the time of my uncle’s infirmity.

If it is discovered that the Worm is poisoned, there will be no doubt as to who has done it. But I am a daughter of kings, and my blood is royal. Such things lie within my right.
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Monday, November 3rd, 2003

Subject:The hour before dawn
Time:12:24 pm.
Éowyn has risen early from a sleep filled with troubled dreams of death and darkness. She walks the corridors of the Golden Hall quietly, conscious of the noise that her footfalls make in the oppressive silence. There is no sign of her uncle, his advisor, or her brother. The city itself still lies asleep in the silence of the undawned morning; even the most diligent farmer is still abed. As the sun beings to peer out from behind the far-off mountains, shelooks out over the land – the rays bathe begin to bathe Meduseld in light, but there are so many dark corners that it can never be fully illuminated. The rise catches the gold filigree on the hall and it glows brightly – but the dark wood interior remains as dark as ever. Éowyn walks along the edge of the wall, looking out over the plains and turning over the plans in her mind.

I discussed several possibilities as regards Grima with my brother last night. The thought of what we have agreed to do makes me tremble, but I wonder at this trembling. Is this not what I have wished for, for so long? Is this not what I have lain awake at nights and dreamed of? The Worm gone, never to bother myself or my uncle any longer... the Worm fallen under the sure hand of my brother, who will truly, I trust, prove himself to be as great as Theodred. Oh, Theodred.

I must steel myself to do what I know is right; this loathsome fear in me must be set aside, somehow, if we are to triumph.
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Tuesday, September 9th, 2003

Subject:A Memory Stirs
Time:11:38 pm.
This Golden Hall is tarnished. Nothing lurks here but memories; the thick dust of days gone by has fallen over all, and life here has lost its luster. My Uncle is trapped in his past. To him, these days exist for nothing more than the preservation of what once was. His mind is idle in respect to the future. – Nay, I should not complain so loudly. It was memory that allowed me to remain by my uncle’s side. The blood of the ancient hearts of Rohan flows in my veins as strongly as it did in my aunt’s, Théodwyn’s. But she too is dead and gone and memory. Am I nothing more than she was? How peculiar a thing it is, that the living should be sacrificed to the dead!

And how appropriate that most of our lays are sad, of fallen men and dying glory! A Rider rides with history at his back and fell fate before him, but with none by his side to spur him on and show him the way. So it is also with a Shield-maiden.

I know that I should be attending to my Uncle, but the darkness of the hall is beginning to pervade my mind and I fight the stagnation that threatens to swallow me up. I flee into the fresh air; I stand on the steps of Meduseld and look out over the dying land. The thatch is rotting in the sun; the crops are languishing in the fields. The wind from the mountains is cool, and the peaks are blue in the distance. In the distance. It may be nothing more than an illusion that all is well on those majestic heights, but it is certain that there things are stirring.
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Subject:((OOC))
Time:8:52 am.
((OOC: This journal is part of the lotrroleplay, a canon Lord of the Rings roleplay. It is the second Éowyn Shield-Maiden journal affiliated with the roleplay, and assumes the story where the other
[eowyn_of_rohan] left off.))
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LiveJournal for Éowyn Shield-Maiden of Rohan.

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